Above all else, my friend loves to send me one of two things: a mass collection of screenshot conversations with different internet friends or NSFW drawings that she doodles on her phone. Both I find entirely vexing. To my dismay, I lack the ability to simply ask her to stop like a normal, sensible adult would. Instead, I resort to sarcasm or GIF reacts indicating my indifference or displeasure and let my frustration build up until it explodes into a text box. She loves to send me messages with innuendos or background stories I have not been privy to, but she must think I find some humor in them regardless. I only remember her once including much needed information to understand the alien words. She never indicates what she wants me to look for in her copied text conversations either, and sends me evidence of her attempted internet trolls… which she fails miserably at, or diagnosis of individuals she has encountered on dating websites or something called “” I don’t know how to tell her politely that I don’t fUCKING CARE! But, like an absolute idiot, I read them anyway.

Today, she’d sent me an awkward drawing of a naked fox woman, which was reminiscent of the cliche “draw me like one of your French girls” pose from The Titanic. The body of the woman was horridly anatomically incorrect, never mind that her head and feet somewhat resembled those of a fox. The hips were shapeless and drawn at the wrong angle, while her legs made me think of limp noodles connected to hind paws. Her breasts were exposed, but a colorless tail was luxuriously draped over the her loins. “What’s your opinion…? :/ :/ :/ ” she sent me during my German I class at 11:30, causing the drawing to pop up my brightly lit screen. Instead of replying with a harsh overcritical statement, I simply replied with, “I’M IN CLASS,” and locked my phone, hoping to shield my classmates’ eyes from such a drawing. Tell me, is that too much to ask??