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  • I think the best advice always starts, “As a 48 year old lesbian…”
  • “What about Jesus?”   “What about Jesus?  Where is that guy?”
  • “If you speed up the sound of John Coltrane decomposing, its a jazz tune”
  • “I remember when I was young and had a higher chance of quantum tunneling”
  • “When God closes a door, he throws a sword through the window”
  • “He had an adorable kitten and a wall full of weed”
  • “It’s like I walked into a Target.  I just lost all brain function”
  • I found the cricket, dead, in the laundry room.  I miss him