Early Mornings, Joy, and Sorrow

She breathed heavily, sleep muffling the sound. She lay peacefully, as the surprisingly comfortable dorm mattress gently supported and caressed her back. It was early in the morning, not yet dawn. The sky was a pale, sleepy blue and the eerie light seeped in through the blinders that covered the window. She shifted in the bed when her deep peace was abruptly and rudely interrupted by a blaring phone alarm. She woke with a start, body jerking awake. She squinted at her clock and saw that it was 6:00 AM. Despair grasped her heart; she could have had another two whole hours of uninterrupted sleep. She glared to the other side of the room and watched her roommate stumble out of bed and hastily shut off the alarm. The girl flopped onto her mattress, closed her eyes and attempted, though in vain, to regain the blissfulness of sleep. The phone alarm went off at 10 minute intervals, and switched from “fire alarm” to horrid morning “rooster crow.” She covered her ears with her flat pillow and plotted to butcher the bloody rooster.

She laughed a big, booming belly laugh. Her shoulders shook with effort and her face turned the shade of scarlet red. As she laughed, the air slowly abandoned her lungs. It turned from joyous, to wheezing and ghastly until no sound came out and she was left writhing on the floor, stomach aching from such a good laugh.

She tore around the room, the clock ticking minutes away. She had pulled a pile of clothes onto the floor from her dresser drawers. After finding nothing that conformed to her desires, she frantically searched her closet, metal hangers screeching angrily against the clothing rod. Her roommate opened the door, stopped in her tracks, and said, “What tornado came through here?” Her mouth was agape and a thin line of toothpaste framed her upper lip. She peeked out from behind her closet door and responded, “Tell me girl, how do I dress when it’s 49 and 77 degrees in the same day??”

She fell so deeply in love with him. She couldn’t explain why it happened at first; her feelings just sort of snuck up behind her. She hadn’t intended to fall for him; at first she thought him strange and goofy. But, she fell in love with his soft eyes and warm smile. She was drawn by his humor and boyish laughter. She admired his intelligence and felt renewed at his kind words. She felt safe in his tight embrace. Though she was filled with so much joy and love, she was also filled with a deep sadness, for she knew nothing could come of her feelings. He heart already belonged to another.